• Melanie

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  • About

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Nsa fun tonight and tonight only i know what i am looking for looking to make friends in Corbin Virginia re: Lately m4w Sounds like you are still hung up on him....someone who is "enlightened" knows meaningful relationships have strong and weak points. In a relationship, especially a marriage (although who gets married these days), it isnt about weighing what is bad against what is good, its about weathering the bad and enjoying what is good.

My wife and I married nearly 50 years ago this day. 40 years and five kids. 13 grandchildren. 3 great grandchildren. Rare accomplishment nowadays. It wasnt always easy. I'd like to say in all those years, we never raised our voice to each other. I'd like to say in all those years, we always had money. Id like to say I never lost my job when the plant closed, found solace in a bottle and another woman, and hurt my wife deeply. I'd like to say we never drifted apart during those tough times, her keeping a punishing distance and me insulating myself with anger. I`d like to say that....but I would be lying.

I'm looking at her smiling face right now and I'd like to say in all those years, all that history finally broke us. I'd like to say she left me with my booze and floozy. I'd like to say she didnt forgive my stupidity, and I never clowned and joked my way through her distance, flirting myself back to husband-ness. I'd like to say our sense of humour and comittment didn't pull us through, that my pride was too great...that I didnt make her laugh during her saddest, or she left when we ran out of money for someone who could offer her more. I'd like to say that, but I would be lying.

I also wouldnt be looking at a picture of her smiling face, missing her right now. You see, my wife died nearly 4 years ago this week. I cant sleep, as par the course this time of year, and nothing helps but reading these posts. Because the more I read these, the less I feel citizen of Now. Where people try each other on like shoes, weeping cindarellas looking for glass slippers, spoiled brats frog kissing until they find a prince. I was blessed to have been with a woman during a time where people understood men are all frog and prince at the same time, and one slipper does not fit all.

Ah...just the ramblings of a senile old man who misses his love who has departed. Just waiting to die so I can live again, I suppose. Despite your protests, you miss him, enlightened or not. "Amazing" cant often be said of relationships, and can get you through a lot...if you REALLY want it. Maybe you just want mediocre. Or maybe he doesnt care any more and you know it....perhaps he is the enlightned one, perhaps he has found someone who he knew would be with him for the rest of it, not just the best of it. Whatever the case, sister, you sound like you lost something pretty special...and Jesus do I know that feeling. (Not that I've become religious, mind you).


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