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Bbw swingers seeking women looking for dick, ft Tigard cam girls Not possible anymore? I am normally an optimistic person. But I think that is changing now. It really sucks being single. That is not how I want to be living my life. My friends who are in a relationship I am jealous of because they have that one special, familliar person to connect with on a daily basis, to hold, to be held by, kiss/have sex/be intimate with, run around with, etc. And my friends who are single, while I love and respect them, reflect back to me what I cannot stand most about my life. We go out together, but we know we'd both rather be on a date with our girlfriend (who does not exist). For physical needs from another person, I gets hugs, maybe lasting 1-3 seconds, 3-4 times or so a week when I see a friend. That's a far cry from being held. It would be a little uncomfortable to attempt to hold hands with any of my friends (even long term ones), or cuddle to watch a movie (must sit 2-3 feet apart), or make eye contact for that long even!

I have good friends, but there is no one person who I talk with on a daily basis. I am really not much more to anyone than a ~15-20 minute conversation or so every 1-2 weeks with the occasional get together, which I just go home alone from anyway after spending money I did not want to spend. But I cannot stay home (even though I love the comfort of home -- just sucks that it is alone) or else I will not meet anyone. I SO miss having a girlfriend to go places with.. to pick me up from errands (and vice-versa), to hold hands with, to be glad to see, who is familiar and "home" to me, to hold, to sleep through the night with, to cook with, to make plans with, to be the first person it makes sense to /see when something exciting happens...

And I have big things going on in my life that would be much better to go through with someone special consistently (not just "check in" about once in a while with various friends). I am "primary" to no one.

It makes no sense. I am in my 40s, live in SF, am good looking, healthy, fit, educated, employed, fun, smart, caring, kind, trustworthy, adventurous, actually love myself and know I deserve to be in a great relationship again, etc. But it's been over a year now and it seems there is NO ON E out there whether by meeting via online or via all the social things I do. I am also a very positive person but I am now getting to/am at the point where I believe it's just not possible to have a girlfriend again. Online I get replies from women who have terrible grammar, are only capable of writing 1-2 sentences (fragments) or have trust issues and won't even leave their first name. And the number of women who insist on "femme" only (as if it's that black and white) is getting really old. And when I am out, I am just tired of the energy of "looking" for someone and hoping to meet someone, while seeing people already happily coupled together, like I used to be, and want to be again. The women I am attracted/drawn to are the ones who seem to be always taken! I am not the kind of person to do a hook up, or to date someone just to "have someone". It's pretty tough lately.

I am ok on my own and love being independent and spending time with just me, but I do that better when it's an option for me, in the context of being in a relationship -- something I sorely miss upon waking up, going to sleep, and on weekends (I do see friends a lot, but it's not the same). Good luck to anyone who may be able to relate to what I wrote... I hope this part of my life changes for the better soon. It has to!!
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